Thursday, January 3, 2013

Yikes, The Year Just Became A Teenager


—Sources advise that since it's now '13, we must all be careful of the new year's feisty adolescence. Hold on tighter to your wallet, your car keys, your electronics – you get the idea. Due to increases in mating hormones, the year will start grooming longer in the bathroom. Depending on certain variables, the year may even expect you to throw it a bar mitzvah. Prepare for a potential mix of rebellion, independence, laziness, sloppiness, and louder rock music. Proceed cautiously, but do enjoy.