Thursday, January 3, 2013

BREAKING NEWS: Not Much New In Thumb Tack Technology Lately

—After receiving an anonymous tip about an alleged "thumb tack breakthrough," the committee who looks into these things held a week-long emergency investigation, only to have to report a lack of any recent progress in the design of this particular office supply item. At a packed press conference, a choked-up metallurgist stated, "They still kind of just do the same thing, in the same way as they always have." Disillusioned news crews shouted really mean things and left in disgust.