Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
DALLAS – Meg Dawson, 35, has 21 bags to check at the airport for her three-day trip. "You never know what you'll need, or what anyone you meet might need," she commented. "That's why I pack EVERYTHING." Oddly, Dawson's only carry-on item is a pen.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
WHEREVER – Just like last year with his iPhone and orbital saw, Sam Dooley has reportedly fallen so deeply in love with his new DSLR camera that he sleeps with it at night. Dooley's wife felt ignored at first but luckily has found another use for the telephoto lens.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
KONA – In a risky test, vacationer Joe Orr was subjected to a free week in tropical Hawaiian paradise with fantastic scenery, food, and recreation. "Far cry from Jersey," said Orr. "No boardwalk or arcades, and hula girls got mad when I put dollar bills in their skirts. In the end I prefer the U.S."
Monday, July 11, 2011
JERSEY – "For weeks I just got more sun than the day before, so I won't burn in Jamaica," manicurist Lisa Hall told reporters. "Now I've been drinking more each day so I won't get too wasted when we go out partying." Hall remains too drunk to realize her flight to Jamaica actually left last week.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
FLORIDA – A NASA spokesperson reported yesterday the agency will now concentrate on the more important work of managing travelers and luggage on airport vans. "We have the expertise," he said smugly, "once we learn something about gas-powered vehicles and land transport."
Friday, July 8, 2011
WACO, TX – Mail carrier Sam Peyton, who never tried sniping before and really likes it, said, "These Facebook slackers seem as good a target group as any. A few of my friends posted a belated wish the day after. Those guys I'll just wound."