Thursday, October 15, 2009

Beer Begets Brownies Binging

I just read a study saying those with alcoholic fathers are more likely to prefer sweets. Excellent! As if alcoholic dads didn't already provide enough perks, now they can be your excuse for sucking down the C12H22O11. (Yes, sugar and I are on a first formula basis.) Makes sense. If you had to watch while your father threw drunken fits, or while he forgot to come home for like, 20 years, then at the very least you're going to want a cookie.

Are you hearing this loud and clear, partners of Children of Alcoholics? No more nagging your lovers about their overindulgence in sweets; they can't help it. Any mates unmoved by this study result should take their annoyingly functional families and shove them down the Beaver Cleaver black hole from whence they came. Their self-esteem nurturing childhoods are just plain un-American.

Bottom line, if you're included among those whose mantra is "Dad-Drinks-But-All-I-Got-Was-This-Lousy-Sugar-Habit," count yourself lucky for not also inheriting alcoholism. I understand it can be somewhat problematic.