Thursday, May 30, 2013

Baby Currently Being Born Wondering If He Has Time To Live This Particular Life Right Now

A Sacramento baby still in a birth canal at press time has reportedly been assessing whether he really has time to live the life he's being goaded into starting. Said the infant, "It's like when an article or video interests you, but it's just so damned long. And you wonder if it'll be worth it."

Friday, May 24, 2013

Movie On TIVO Has Been Sitting There Unwatched For Three Years Now

Sources say in 2010 a Chicago couple TIVO'd a movie they still haven't watched. "I'm ready to let go," said the husband. "But my wife isn't. She made plans yet again to supposedly watch it 'this weekend.' Time for an intervention."